


Turn

by memoryofyou



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-18 13:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14214201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoryofyou/pseuds/memoryofyou
Summary: Reader is a member of the First Order that has been captured by the Resistance. She has never once questioned her loyalty, however the more time she spends with the rebels (in particular, Poe Dameron), the more she can't help but be drawn away from the only life she has ever known.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a one short reader request from Tumblr that has morphed into a series. Enjoy!

Y/N followed the guard in front of her as they walked down the ramp and onto the loading platform. She kept her eyes straight ahead, but did her best to memorize the details of her surroundings. If she was going to escape, she had to plan for every eventuality, identify every opportunity. This Resistance scum wouldn’t be able to hold her for long.

“Commander Connix.” The guard escorting her greeted a young blonde woman who looked far too young to be of such a a high rank. “Where would you like us to take the prisoner?”

“General Organa will want to speak with her as soon as possible. Take her to the interrogation room and assign two guards.”

“Yes, Commander.” The guard replied, and Y/N followed the guard as he led her to a small, nondescript room on the base. She had counted the steps and turns from the landing platform, though she could sense that this would not be her moment of escape. She let the guard attach her restraints to the single chair in the room and settled in to wait.

Before long, the door opened and General Organa entered, flanked by a man she vaguely recognized from First Order communiques.

“Captain Y/L/N.” General Organa greeted, taking a seat across from her. Y/N didn’t reply, instead staring past the General’s shoulder to the wall behind her. “This is Colonel Poe Dameron.” The General continued, gesturing to the man behind her. “Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable?”

Y/N moved her gaze from the wall to the General, meeting the older woman’s eyes with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m a prisoner, and you’re worried about my comfort?”

“You are a person, Captain Y/L/N, and we will treat you as such.” General Organa replied. “All we want is information on why you were on Moralia, and why the First Order is interested in an insignificant mining planet.”

“I won’t tell you anything.” Y/N replied, disgust clear on her features. “The First Order is going to destroy what’s left of your worthless Resistance, we are the ultimate power in the galaxy.”

Y/N watched as the General sighed, shaking her head before turning her gaze to Poe.

“Put her in the holding quarters, make sure that she has anything that she needs, Colonel.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Dameron replied, waiting for the General to exit the room before moving to detach her binders from the table. “Come with me, Captain.”

“I know you.” Y/N said as they walked down the hall, the Colonel’s grip tight but not painfully so on her arm. “You’re that pilot, the one the traitor helped escape. FN-2187”

“His name is Finn, not FN-2187.” Poe replied gruffly as they turned down another corner. “And he’s not a traitor, he’s a hero.”

“I can’t wait to see what they will do to him when he’s captured. If I were you, I would hope he doesn’t survive whatever the Supreme Leader has planned for you.”

“This is your room.” Dameron replied, pressing a series of numbers into the datapad by the door that Y/N couldn’t follow. “There will be a guard stationed here at all times. If you need something, ask them.” The door opened and Y/N leaned her head in, surprised to find that she was looking at tiny, but comfortable, living quarters instead of a prison cell.

“You aren’t going to put me in a cell?”

“We don’t have cells.” Dameron replied. “And even if we did, putting you in one wouldn’t really endear you to us, would it?”

“You think you’re going to endear yourselves to me? You’re rebel scum.” Y/N replied, stepping into the room and turning to face the Colonel.

“Oh, I think we’ll grow on you.” Dameron said with a crooked smile. “We’re like a fungus in that way.” He added before locking the door shut.

For the next four days, Y/N stayed in her room, content to stew in her hatred and anger. Like clockwork, three meals were delivered to her guard every day, along with a new set of clothing and sleep clothes. The General never came to visit her again. In fact, no one had interrogated her since the brief questioning from General Organa when she had first arrived. She had been given limited access to the holonet, able to see the news and goings on of the galaxy, but unable to reach out herself.

She watched with pride as news report after news report told of the victories of the First Order, as their power and influence spread across the known universe. Their new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, had established a new hold on Coruscant, the last remaining Republic stronghold. She was preparing to turn the holo projector off when the news switched to the streets of Coruscant, where it showed the poorer citizens attempting to clean up the destruction left in the First Order attack’s wake. Buildings were burning and crumbling, as people of all species frantically searched for those they knew. The camera centered on a young Chitanook father, clutching what looked to be the body of their dead child, crushed under the rubble of their home. Y/N shut the holo projector off with a forceful smash of the power button, looking away as she tried to rid her mind of the image. This was war, and innocents dying was always the cost of war. If the Republic had simply surrendered to the First Order years ago, those lives need not have been lost.

A knock at the door pulled Y/N from her thoughts. It was too early for one of the guards to bring her a meal - the only time she had a visitor.

“Enter.” Y/N said, and the door opened to reveal Colonel Dameron.

“Captain Y/L/N.” Dameron greeted. “How are you today?”

“”Why do you care?”

“You’re a guest of the Resistance.”

“I’m a prisoner.” Y/N snapped back.

“Not if you don’t want to be.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest at that comment.

“If I don’t want to be? What, are you just going to let me go?”

“No, of course not.” Poe replied, dropping down into the chair that stayed near her desk. “But, I’m hopeful that you’ll eventually see things our way.”

“You think I’m going to become one of you? I’m not a traitor, I am loyal to the First Order.”

“You’ve been taught nothing but loyalty to the First Order. Our hope is, once you see the truth of their evil, that you’ll come to the Light.”

“What are you, a Jedi now?”

“No, not even close.” Poe replied with a chuckle. “But I do believe in the good of the universe, and I believe that there’s good in you. Have a good day, Captain.”

With that, Y/N watched silently as Poe stood up, nodding toward her before moving toward the door.

“Wait!” Y/N exclaimed, wringing her hands as she avoided Poe’s gaze. “If I…If I wanted to speak to the traitor, could that be arranged?”

“To the traitor? No. To Finn? I’ll see what I can do.”


	2. Part Two

Y/N remained in her rooms for another two days before Dameron returned, a smile on his face.

 

“Good morning Captain.”

 

“Dameron.” Y/N replied, looking up from the news holo she had been watching. More victories for the First Order as their power spread across the galaxy. 

 

“Finn isn’t back from his mission yet, but I thought that you might like some fresh air.”

 

“I get to leave this room?”

 

“With an escort, yes, you can leave any time you want.”

 

Y/N nodded and pushed her arms forward to allow for binders to be placed around her wrists.

 

“What are you doing?” Dameron asked, and Y/N couldn’t fight the urge to stare at him as if he was stupid.

 

“Binders?”

 

“Captain Y/L/N, I’ve told you before. You’re not a prisoner, you’re a guest.”

 

“A guest who can’t leave her room without an escort.”

 

“We’re good people, we’re not stupid.” Dameron replied, an infuriating smirk on his face. “Come on, it’s kind of chilly out.” he continued, tossing a jacket at her. She slipped it on as she followed him out of the room and into the nondescript hallway, walking next to him as they made their way out of what looked to be the residential area of the base. The further out they got from the quarters, the more people they saw. Y/N watched some of them eye her curiously, but most just greeted Poe warmly before continuing on their way.

 

“You really are the poster boy of this pathetic Resistance, aren’t you?”

 

“If anyone is the face of our movement, it’s the General.”

 

“General Organa is a relic of the failed Republic, she has lost what power she had in this galaxy, along with her Jedi brother.”

 

“You’re really pleasant to talk to, you know that?” Dameron replied sharply, and Y/N shrugged.

 

“I only speak the truth.”

 

“No.” Poe snapped, stopping them in the middle of the hallway and turning her to face him. “You’re speaking the propaganda of the First Order. And I don’t blame you, you’ve never been taught anything else. I only hope that, sooner rather than later, you’ll see the real truth: that the First Order is a scourge on this galaxy that the Light will eventually bring down.”

 

Dameron turned at that and continued to move down the hall. They were silent until they exited the base and Y/N followed as they moved away from the cluster of buildings and toward the outskirts. They climbed a tall, green hill until they reached the summit. From there, Y/N could see the entirety of the base and the hundreds of people who were going about their business. 

 

“Your numbers were decimated after Crait, a few dozen at most.” Y/N said, shaking her head. Supreme Leader Ren had made it clear that the Resistance had been all but destroyed after the battle that saw the death of Luke Skywalker. 

 

“We suffered heavy losses that day, but the Resistance is a shining beacon of hope in the universe. That light called to people from every corner. Our numbers grow every day.” Poe replied, sitting down on the grass with a sigh. Y/N watched him warily for a moment before moving to sit near him. 

 

“Why would you tell me this? Why would you let me see that the Resistance is fully functional once again? This is intel you would not want an enemy to have.”

 

“You’re not my enemy, Captain. You’re not the Resistance’s enemy. The First Order’s demand of absolutely obedience, their lust for control and power - that’s our enemy.”

 

“Absolute obedience brings peace, it brings security.”

 

“You’re confusing peace with control; security with bondage.” 

 

“Who are you to decide that we’re wrong?” Y/N snapped, glaring over at Dameron.

 

“No one, I’m no one. But my mother died trying to free the galaxy from the Empire, and I’ll be damned if she died just for the First Order to rise up in its place.”

 

Silence fell between them at that, and Y/N idly picked at a blade of grass as the sun began to sink lower on the horizon.

 

“Do you remember your parents?” Dameron asked, breaking the silence, and Y/N shook her head.

 

“I don’t remember anything before the First Order.”

 

“What’s your first memory?”

 

Y/N searched her mind as she struggled to place what she could count as her earliest memory. She’d never been asked such a question before - sentimentality and dwelling on the past were never allowed. But, when she tried, she found only a fuzzy jumble of images.

 

“I don’t...I don’t know.”

 

“Yeah, Finn couldn’t tell me either.” He said with a frown on his face. “Something about the First Order programming, it makes it impossible to remember when you were taken.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past.”

 

“It  _ does _ matter.” Dameron insisted. “It’s who you are, without the brainwashing and the propaganda. It’s part of your soul.”

 

“I’d like to go back to my room, Colonel.” Y/N replied, standing up stiffly and refusing to look back at him. He nodded, standing up himself and guiding her back toward the base as the pink light of the sunset shone down on the bustling hub. Despite what she knew to be true, she couldn’t stop thinking about the past, and fighting toward the memories she couldn’t find.


	3. Part Three

The next day, Y/N tested her supposed freedom and asked for permission to leave her rooms. Half an hour later, she heard a knock on the door and came face to face with a young woman she didn’t recognize.

“Hi, I’m Rey.” The woman greeted, a bright smile on her face.

“Captain Y/L/N.”

“Where would you like to go?” Rey asked, and Y/N found herself at a loss. She hadn’t really expected Poe’s claims to be true, and she struggled to come up with a destination.

“Can I see the hangar?”

“Sure, come on.” Rey replied, turning around and heading back down the hall. Y/N fell into step behind her, noting the turns she made with more familiarity than she had the day before with Poe.

“Are you with the Resistance?” Y/N asked, and Rey shrugged.

“Unofficially, I suppose.” Rey replied. “I’ve never formally joined up, but our fates are…intertwined.”

“Do you know the trai…Finn?”

“Do you know Finn?” Rey asked, her eyes bright.

“Only by reputation.”

“Finn is amazing. He’s saved my life, more than once.”

“He was First Order, a Stormtrooper.”

“He was, but he’s not anymore.”

“He betrayed the people he was sworn to serve once. What makes you so sure he won’t betray you?”

“The only thing Finn betrayed was himself, every day he served the people who imprisoned and brainwashed him.” Rey’s words were harsh, but Y/N could sense no malice in them, just surety.

“But to turn against the people who raised you? Who made you who you are?”

“My parents sold me to a junk dealer on Jakku to pay off their gambling debts. Then Unkar turned me into a scavenger that he could profit off of. These are the people who made me, but what did they ever do to earn my loyalty? Am I a traitor because I left them behind?”

Y/N said nothing in response, turning her gaze to the bustling hangar. Her eyes drifted to a black X-Wing near the hangar door, the markings distinctive.

“That’s Poe’s ship.” Rey supplied, pulling her toward the ship. “We’ve been working together on customizing it.”

“Is that an R-53 converter?” Y/N asked, ducking under the belly of the ship to inspect the part further.

“Yeah, we found it on Ord Mantell during a recon mission. Upped the X-Wing’s fuel efficiency by 26%.”

“How is that possible? It should’ve only upped it by 19%, max.”

“Rey made a few extra modifications, just for me.” A new voice greeted, and Y/N turned to see Poe in his orange flight suit. He winked at Rey, who rolled her eyes.

“The new girl knows her stuff.” Rey replied, and Y/N shook her head.

“I’m not the new girl. I’m a Captain in the First Order, I have a squadron of fighters under my command.”

“We both can’t fit in the X-Wing, but we just finished some tweaks on one of the shuttles, if you’d like to try it out?” Poe offered. Y/N watched them both warily, but saw no malice or trickery in their faces. Finally, she nodded, and Poe grinned. “Let me get out of this flight suit and then we can go. Rey, can you take her over to the Casting Star?”

Y/N and Rey had just finished going through the preflight checklist when Poe returned to them, dressed in his usual tan pants and shirt, his Alliance rank proudly displayed on his jacket.

“You’re all ready to go.” Rey said, patting him on the shoulder before exiting the shuttle with a wave toward Y/N. She and Poe strapped into the seats at the front of the small craft as they waited for permission to depart from the communications center.

“Casting Star you are cleared for departure.”

“Thank you base, this is Colonel Dameron confirming departure. Two passengers aboard.”

“You wanna drive?” Poe asked, and Y/N raised an eyebrow as Poe switched the controls over to her seat. They setup was different from what she was used to, but it only took her a moment to adjust and ease the shuttle toward the hangar door. As soon as they were free of the hangar, she tilted the wheel down, taking it in a graceful arc toward the atmosphere. In a moment, they were in open space, and Y/N sighed happily at the familiar sight.

“You’re a natural.” Poe commented, and Y/N shook her head.

“I trained for years. I was always good at piloting, I guess, but my aim was terrible. Almost caught me my place on a fighter.”

“What changed?”

“I realized that, if I didn’t make myself better, I would never see this again. Never feel this way again. So I learned.”

“You’re…kind of amazing, you know that?” Poe asked, and Y/N finally turned her gaze away from the stars to look back at him. She found nothing there but genuine fondness and slight surprise.

“You don’t even know me.”

“No, but I want to.”

“I’m First Order.”

“Not if you don’t want to be.”

“It’s who I am. And, despite your protestations, I’m still a prisoner. I’m an enemy.”

“Only you can decide who you want to be.”

“Not everyone can escape what they are, what the galaxy has made them. I’m not…I’m not Finn.”

“No, you’re not. You’re…I just realized, I don’t even know your first name.” Poe shook his head, chuckling wryly.

“Y/N. I’m Y/N.”

Poe let her orbit the planet twice before directing her back to the hangar. It was mostly empty by the time they returned, the majority of the crew at dinner in the commissary.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Poe asked.

“In the commissary? I don’t think that I’d be welcome.”

“You never know until you try.” Poe pushed, and Y/N nodded hesitantly and followed him.

The dining hall was alive with activity when they entered, and though Y/N caught a few rebels watching her as they went through the line, for the most part they ignored her. Once they had their food, she watched Poe’s eyes scan the room until he found Rey waving at them. Y/N sat down next to Poe and across from Rey, who immediately pulled her into a conversation about the shuttle and its modifications.

When Poe walked her back to her rooms after the meal, Y/N realized that - for the first time - she didn’t feel like a prisoner being escorted back to her cell. They paused in front of the door, and Y/N offered Poe a small smile.

“Thank you, for today. I had…fun.”

“I’m glad.” Poe replied, a bright grin on his face. “You deserve to have fun.”

An awkward silence fell between them, and Y/N was unsure what she should say or do next. Thankfully, Poe interrupted her with news of Finn’s imminent arrival.

“Finn will be back tomorrow, if you still want to meet with him.”

“I do.” Y/N replied, nodding. She found that she no longer thought of him as The Traitor, but rather as Finn. It was an unnerving thought that had her emotions once again pulling her in different directions. “I’ll…see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” Poe replied, and Y/N was surprised when he pulled her into a hug. She stood frozen for a moment before she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Good night, Y/N.” Poe whispered next to her ear before loosening his hold on her.

“Good night, Poe.” Y/N replied, pulling away to find his face inches from her. His eyes seemed to study her intently before leaning closer. Y/N stepped out of his arms as if she had been shocked, gesturing for him to open the lock on her door. He did so without a word, and she practically jumped back into the comfort of her room, letting the door slide shut behind her. 


	4. Part Four

The next day, Rey appeared at her door shortly after breakfast, an excited smile on her face.

 

“Finn is back!” Rey exclaimed, bouncing in her enthusiasm. Y/N, meanwhile, could not find the same anticipation she had felt the day before at the thought of meeting the First Order defector. Her encounter with Poe was still fresh in her mind, especially when they said their goodbyes. She had never felt attraction before - personal relationships were forbidden in the First Order, and she had never felt the urge anyway. But, last night with Poe, she was sure that he had almost kissed her, and it had terrified her. What scared her most, however, was that she knew that she had wanted to kiss him back. 

 

“Did you still want to meet him?” Rey asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

 

“Yes, I do.” Y/N replied, and Rey nodded, gesturing for her to follow her. The walk from her quarters to the common area of the base was becoming familiar, and Y/N wasn’t sure what to think about that. She had lost track of how long she had been here, and she felt shame at the fact that the base was becoming...comfortable. 

 

“Rey!” A familiar voice called, and Y/N turned to see Poe jogging toward them. 

 

“Hey Poe.” Rey replied, though Poe’s eyes were focused solely on Y/N.

 

“Where are you two headed?”

 

“We’re going to meet Finn.” Y/N replied, dropping her gaze down to her feet. 

 

“That’s great. I’ve got a mission briefing, or I’d join you.”

 

“I’m just going to drop her off, and then I’ll be at the briefing as well.” Rey said, and Y/N turned to her.

 

“But, I always have to have an escort.”

 

“Do you need an escort?” Poe asked. “Or can we trust you?”

 

Y/N didn’t reply, unsure of what to say. After a moment, she shrugged, and Poe seemed satisfied. 

 

“When you’re done, Finn can bring you to the mess hall and we can all have lunch.” Poe replied, and Y/N nodded. Poe jogged away with a salute, his eyes landing on Y/N once more before he turned and headed in the direction of the control room. Y/N turned back to follow Rey, who led her into the same interrogation room that she had been in when she first arrived. A person she could only assume was Finn was waiting there, dressed in the same beige shirt, pants, and leather jacket of the other Resistance members. 

 

“You must be Captain Y/L/N, I’m Finn.” He greeted, and Y/N nodded.

 

“I’ll see you two later.” Rey said, shutting her door behind her. 

 

Y/N turned back to face Finn, surprised by what she found. Since his defection, the First Order - when they were willing to mention the traitor - had painted him as a monster, a flaw in the system. Instead, to Y/N’s eyes, he looked positively normal. He was sitting at the table, his demeanor casual as he studied her.

 

“You wanted to speak with me?” He asked, and Y/N nodded as she stepped further into the room.

 

“I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 

“From the First Order?”

 

“Yes.” Y/N replied. “You’re infamous, the one who betrayed us all.”

 

“The only person I betrayed was myself, every day that I served the First Order.”

 

“The First Order raised you, gave you a home, a purpose.”

 

“The First Order made me a prisoner, stole me away from my family and tried to turn me into a mindless killing machine.”

 

“Why would you betray everything you’ve ever known?”

 

“It’s true, I don’t remember a life before the First Order.” Finn acknowledged. “But, even before I met Poe I knew that what I was doing was wrong. The First Order rules through fear and intimidation. They won’t rest until every single being in the galaxy is under their complete control. That’s not freedom, that’s not living. That’s slavery.”

 

Y/N didn’t know what to say to that, but before she could try to respond the building was rocked by an explosion as sirens filled the air. 

 

“Stay here.” Finn said, getting up from the table. 

 

“Not likely.” Y/N murmured, following him out the door and to the main hangar, where the pilots were frantically running toward their ships. 

 

“Rey!” Finn called, catching the girl’s attention. She had a lightsaber in her hand, her eyes determined as she caught up to them.

 

“The First Order, they’re attacking. They’ve already landed ground troops on the west side of the base. “I was just coming to get you.” She continued, shoving a blaster into Finn’s hands. “Poe is leading the squadrons in the air, Leia wants you leading the ground defense.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“I have a few plans of my own.” Rey replied with a mischievous smile before running off. 

 

“Go back to your quarters, Captain Y/L/N.”

 

“No, I want to…” Y/N began, but trailed off as Finn jogged away from her. She stood in the middle of the hangar, helpless, as the sounds of the fighting grew closer. She could tell when the stormtroopers broke through the defenses and into the hangar, and ducked as blaster fire flew past her. She cried out when she felt a blaster bolt graze her side, knocking her to the floor. The light began to dim around her, and for the first time, she knew that she had regrets in the face of death. In the First Order, dying for the cause meant glory. Now, she couldn’t help but think back to the night before, and wish that she had had the courage to kiss the dashing pilot that had made her question everything that she had ever known. 

 

When she returned to consciousness, she found it difficult to open her eyes, and groaned at the bright light that caused her to immediately regret the attempt. 

 

“Lie back, Captain, you’ve had quite the injury.” A cool voice said. Y/N did as she was told, feeling the bacta patch on her torso pull as she tried to adjust herself into a more comfortable position. When she felt strong enough to open her eyes again, she was shocked to find dark metal shining above her. She turned her head and found the nurse who had been speaking standing next to her, prim and neat in her black and grey uniform. Y/N felt her stomach drop and twist into knots as she took in her surroundings, until she found the strength to speak in a voice cracked from disuse.

 

“Where am I?”

 

“The  _ Resolute _ , ma’am.”

 

“How?”

 

“One of your lieutenants recognized you during the battle. You must have been hit during your escape attempt, and they brought you back after the battle.”

 

“But...the battle?”

 

“A decisive victory, Captain. And now you’re back where you belong.” The nurse replied, smiling. “You’re back with the First Order.”


End file.
